The Five P's

Those of you who read my blog and messages regularly know that I consider weight loss and maintenance to be a lifelong project. In my mind, there actually is no practical difference between losing and maintaining, other than the amount of food required. It's all one continuous process. If you do the right thing, you won't get to goal overnight, but when you do get there, you have a much better chance at keeping it off. Speed is not important. The formation of new food and exercise habits is the real key to the whole process. And how do we form new habits? That's easy -- practice!

Now, what happens when you begin to practice something? Well, for one thing, you sure don't get it right, first thing out of the box. But over time, if you focus and learn from your mistakes, you will get better. You can't sit down at a piano for the first time and play "Moonlight Sonata," but if you take piano lessons and practice diligently, in time you will be able to. That's the power of learning and repetition.

Some of you may know that I lost my weight on Weight Watchers. I consider it to be the best program going -- because it's not a diet, but a SET OF TOOLS that, if you learn and apply them, will help you not only get to goal, but stay there. At its very best, WW is a program that you learn and practice, over time. By the time you get to goal, if you've been paying attention and practicing your new behaviors, you'll be well-equipped to maintain your new weight. Why? Because you've already learned the tools you'll need. The program is the same, ideally, both before and after goal.

Newbies tend to approach WW with a sort of "diet mentality." You know - the one that promises, "if you do this plan perfectly, without the slightest deviation, you will get to goal . . . and the heavens will open up, angels will sing, life will become perfect, and you will be happy foreverafter."

Aside from the heavens 'n angels part (hint: don't expect it to happen), the biggest thing wrong with this approach is the perfection part. There's a type of magical, black 'n white thinking to the perfectionist approach -- it's the idea that you can't lose weight unless you can follow a weight loss program to the letter. I guess it's comforting, in a black 'n white sort of way, to think that "all I have to do is x and y, and I'll get to z!" But in truth, that kind of thinking is a deadly trap.

Y'see, none of us are perfect. Sooner or later, we are going to deviate from the plan -- whether it be in a couple of weeks, or a few months. And when that happens -- if we are locked into that perfectionistic, black 'n white thinking trap, we'll figure we've blown it, and we may as well plough our way through the bag of chips, the cookie box, the chocolate chips in the back of the pantry. What's the use, after all, if we can't follow a diet perfectly?

Now, here's the good news: you do not have to be perfect to lose weight. As I like to say, "good enough" is good enough. Perfection not required (or achieveable). Shoot, I still mess up. I'm in my 7th year of this life change, and I grab some extra chocolate from time to time, or mis-order in a restaurant. Life happens. I'm human. So are you. So, kick that perfectionistic thinking to the curb.

Here's a shorthand way of thinking about weight loss and maintenance . . . I call it the 5 P's. As you begin your journey, and as you continue it, focus on the first four, and lose the last one --

1. Practice - remember the "Moonlight Sonata" example. We get better at the things we work on. I consider this to be the most important "P."
2. Persistence - just keep going. We lose weight when we just keep keepin' on, no matter what, no matter how badly our day, or week, or month has gone.
3. Progress - expect to make progress over time, as you practice and persist. Not necessarily immediately . . . remember that our bodies have their own wisdom. Don't rush the process. After all, you're going to be on this program (or something much like it) the rest of your life, if you want to keep the weight off.
4. Patience - what I said about progress over time, double. Don't be in a hurry. You'll get there. I took 2.5 years to finally get to goal. But I'm there now, so the time it took me is totally unimportant. And I got plenty of practice along the way.
5. Perfection - like I said, fuggedaboudit. Ain't a-gonna happen.

What are you waiting for? Get out there and practice!

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Comments

[Louise]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I always read your updates and check your messages on the boards if I have time.

[Judi]

Hi Deb -

Once again, I couldn't agree more! You continue to be an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your insights!

[Jackie]

I think "perfectionism" has been a problem for me in my past weight loss efforts. I have battled my weight my whole life and 1 yr ago decided to make peace. I decided I needed to lighten up and realize that good enough is good enough. 1 year later I have lost 70 pounds and I'm half-way to my goal and I know I will make it this time and even though it won't be in record time, it will be in my time.

[k]

I'm really relating to this post, since I've run smack into the exact situation you've described more than once. It's a shift in thinking, as much as a shift in behavior, that helps us make changes.

So glad you're blogging again, and looking forward to your future posts!