Tools

I am now closing in on 4 years at goal. Think about that: 4 years at a normal weight. I've never done this before, in my entire life. I've kept about 80 lbs off for nearly four years. And I've kept more than 50 lbs off for more than five years.

Sometimes I remember my fat days, and think they must have been a bad dream. But they were real, all too real. And because they were so real, I'm determined that I ain't a-goin' back. The old lady's dead.

So . . . what keeps me here, at this weight? Why haven't I gained it all back?

Well, that's an interesting question. I can think of several <ahem> large reasons why I want to stay where I am now:

• I don't want to do this again.
• I feel awesome at this weight: strong, energetic, alive.
• I look great. Or, as I like to say, "not bad for an old chick."
• I don't want to die early. (I was probably headed for that.)
• I also don't want to be a cardiac cripple. (Maybe I was headed for that, too.)
• I want to keep my closet full of great clothes, and ditch them when they wear out, not when they become too small.
• I really, really enjoy being an RNT - a "Results Not Typical." (That's my inner brat talking; she relishes chanting "nanny, nanny, boo-boo" from time to time.)

But, these are just concepts. They represent what I want, but they don't represent what I do, day in and day out. And oh yeah, plenty of other folks have had the same wants, but have regained. Heck, for that matter, so have I. I'll write about that sometime.

So, what do I do to stay here? It's actually pretty simple, in retrospect. I . . .

• Journal my food. Every day.
• Weigh myself. Every day.
• Weigh/measure my food, when I'm at home. Eyeball it for portion size, when eating out.
• Exercise. This is easy for me: I'm a bicycling fanatic enthusiast, and I love to sling the iron around.
• Remove small gains while they're still little enough to strangle easily.

I also . . .

• Don’t view any food as forbidden, unless it's truly lousy for my health. (One word: trans fats. Well, OK, two words.)
• Sometimes eat more than I planned.
• Never, ever, feel guilty about eating more than I planned. Life happens; I'm human. I still love food, and that will never change.
• Enjoy several treats, every week. Usually, it's a scone, muffin, or some other pastry. Or, it might be something like the fried onion straws that Jeff and I split at Black's Bar and Kitchen last Friday night. Or two glasses of wine and a huge piece of chocolate cake, along with an appetizer-size dinner.

The things that I do are my tools. One thing I've learned is that most naturally-thin folks really aren't all that "natural." That is, they do work at staying thin. Maybe not as explicitly as I do, but they are, for the most part, mindful of what they are eating, have eaten, will be eating . . . and they work to balance that out, even if only in their heads. My insurance agent, for example, is a woman in her 60s. Thin as a rail. Never been fat, ever. But she works at staying tiny. She knows, as she told me once, that she can't have the large entrée and the big dessert, if she wants to stay where she is, weight-wise.

I use my tools every day, and they keep me accountable. They help me stay mindful. Could I drop the journaling bit, and the food weighing? Yeah, probably, at least for a while. I've been doing this long enough that I know what my portion sizes should be . . . at least right now I do. A year from now, without journaling or measuring? Who can say? Portion creep is very real. I still struggle with the size of a muffin or bagel, and I still eat the large ones, in full knowledge that they are several portions each.

Re journaling: I'm probably just enough of an obsessive personality that I actually don't mind doing it. A PDA and a database make it super-easy. And recording my food gives me a daily boost. It says, "Hey, Deb, pay attention! This is important! Focus!" I make time for it every day . . . and it really doesn't even take that much time. It's a habit. It's just what I do now.

Tools are useful, and there is no shame in using them. We all use tools in various aspects of our lives. For example: I'm a CPA, but I can't add two numbers together in my head. Shove a calculator in my hand, though, and I'm anyone's equal.

Archimedes said, "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world." Such is the power of the right tool.

So, I view journaling, and all of my other tools, this way: they are my "equalizers." Using them, I'm the equal of any naturally-thin person. Does it matter to me that I don't eat "normally?" Heh, heh. Well, just what is "normal" these days, anyway? I think it's probably "mindlessly eat anything and everything that's put in front of you, and gain pound after pound after pound." Do I want that kind of "normal?" Uh, no, thanks. I'll stick with my tools, and use them to eat healthfully. That's my "new normal," and it works for me.

It might just work for you, too.

* * * * *

If you enjoyed this essay, please send it on!

Want to subscribe? Check the top of the page . . . on the right. And if you'd like me to link to your (noncommercial) weight loss blog, just drop me a comment; it goes right to my e-mail. All I ask is a link in return.