Cheating

OK, quick - raise your hand if you’ve ever “cheated” while on a diet.

Oh, wow, that’s a lot of hands. Especially since there actually is no such thing as "cheating.”

"Cheating" is a "diet mentality" concept. Genuine, lasting weight loss is not the result of a “diet” . . . it accrues from a series of life changes, using a simple set of tools that can help you lose weight and keep it off. A true change in life habits does not dictate perfection every single day. Those of us who are successful "losers" and have maintained for some time know that we can eat more some days, less others. This is not cheating. It's called flexible restraint, and it's a critical tool for long-term weight loss success.

There were many times, when I was losing my weight, that I would eat something extra during the day - a treat, an extra serving, a favorite food. But I did it in full knowledge of what I was doing, and I tracked every bit of it. As a result, my calories for the week would, perhaps, total a bit more than what I "should" have eaten. But because I still had a caloric deficit going for the week, overall, I lost weight. And that's what is important. That, and the fact that I didn’t feel deprived.

The notion that you should never “cheat” implies that to lose weight, you must eat rigidly: never eating certain foods, for example, or never eating more than one portion of something. Never eating even a single calorie more than what you “should,” according to somebody's plan (which may or may not be healthy and balanced). But, y'know? That's unrealistic. Real life is a balancing act . . . it's doing things right most of the time, carefully and healthfully compensating for times of eating more, with times of eating a bit leaner. It's not necessary to eat exactly 20 points every day, if you are a Weight Watcher, or exactly 1200 calories a day if you are following a written calorie plan. All you really need to do is average a caloric deficit over time, so that you lose weight. Shoot, you can even do it by eating a mere 100 calories fewer per day. It’s a slow way of doing it, but I can pretty much guarantee you won’t feel deprived.

So, where did this concept of “cheating” come from, anyway? Well, my money’s on this: way too many of us are perfectionists, either current or “reformed” (waving hand wildly here), and we also are wont to engage in magical thinking from time to time. We seem to believe that if we can just follow a plan perfectly, the weight will fall off and we will live happily ever after. This is not true, of course, but we believe it anyway; it’s as American a concept as Mom and apple pie. Unfortunately, though, we also believe the converse: that if we make a mistake, we have “blown it” and will never lose weight. So, we give up in disgust.

Now, I ask you: what good is that?

So: do yourself a favor and kick your “diet mentality” to the curb. It's OK if you give in to a couple of cookies one afternoon . . . that's not going to torpedo your weight loss efforts, unless you let it. Instead, think in terms of averages -- aim for an average caloric deficit for the week. If you do eat those cookies, either eat a slightly smaller serving of pasta for your evening dinner, for example . . . or just let it go, and eat as planned the rest of the day. If you’ve been fairly on point all week, it’s not going to make much difference at all. And even if it does, so what? In the context of the rest of your life, what's a couple hundred extra calories one day in July, if overall you are doing a good job of changing your eating habits?

Here’s a final thought: maybe, just maybe, there is such a thing as “cheating.” But if so, here’s what it is: it’s when you lie to yourself. About how much you’ve eaten, how much you’ve exercised, how well you are following your weight loss plan.

As long as you are honest with yourself about what you are doing, and are actively using your weight loss tools to track your food intake, your weight, and your exercise, you are not cheating. You’re doing it right.

* * * * *

If you enjoyed this essay, please send it on!

Want to subscribe? Check the top of the page . . . on the right. And if you'd like me to link to your (noncommercial) weight loss blog, just drop me a comment; it goes right to my e-mail. All I ask is a link in return.