Who's In Control?

Do you have certain foods that you don’t feel you have any control over? That once you start eating them, you can’t stop? If you do, it’s not surprising . . . many people have so-called “red light” foods that they have difficulty with.

I no longer have any red light foods. I used to . . . Not many, but for sure, I had problems with Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies. (Bet I’m not the only one, either.) Once I would open a sleeve of ‘em, I’d rarely stop eating them until the whole sleeve was gone. I also have a special place in my heart for kettle-cooked potato chips. (A show of hands, please . . . how many of you love chips???)

Recently, though, you know what I did? I threw out some Thin Mints that had been in my fridge since spring. I just never finished them, and eventually, they got stale. So, I pitched ‘em. They don't have any power over me any more.

Fear of certain foods is very common, in my observation. Many times, folks are afraid to even buy certain foods, for fear that they will not be able to control how much they eat. I can understand that . . . but at the same time, I think it’s very important that you not let food control you.

My take? It’s just food. It only has control over you if YOU give it that control. I understand that your past history with a particular “red light” food might cause you to believe that you are helpless in the face of, say, a plate of brownies. I also think, though, that you can change your attitude toward those brownies . . . and take away their power over you. Setting aside any physiological “addictions” to food (which I consider to be much rarer than widely believed), I think it is possible to retrain your mind, and your attitudes, towards those “fearful” foods.

I actually don’t remember consciously identifying certain foods as being a problem for me, while I was losing weight; it’s only recently that I’ve ID’d some of the more problematic foods for me . . . and thought about why they aren’t problems for me any more. I don’t do the binge thing; for me it was a matter of grazing all day (and forgetting what I’d eaten). But I know well the siren song of certain foods that “call” to you from the kitchen. Here’s how I learned to shut ‘em up.

It’s pretty simple, really. Whenever I was tempted by some chips or brownies, or a plate of goodies in the office kitchen, I would think to myself, “Do I have room for this in my food plan today?” If the answer was “yes,” I would have a small portion of whatever (Christmas cookie, jelly beans, ice cream). But if the answer was “no,” then I’d use one of the following to stifle that little “gotta have it!” voice in my head:

1. They’re not going to stop making this anyway soon, so my not having any today doesn’t mean I can never have it again.

2. Ooh, that looks really good, but I already know what it tastes like. I don’t need a reminder right now.

3. I don’t have room for this now, but (tomorrow, next week, next month) I’ll make an effort to fit this in, because it looks really good, and I’ve not had any for a while. (This remains one of my favorite strategies.)

4. Hey, no way am I taking orders from a COOKIE! (Or brownie, or slice of pizza, or piece of cake . . .)

If I do decide that I can have a treat, I limit the amount I have by, again, telling myself that _____ isn’t going to disappear from the face of the earth, and if I really want some, I can have some tomorrow, or the next day, or whatever. That usually takes care of things.

Weight loss and maintenance, when you get right down to it, is nothing more than food management. You and I both have to manage our money, right? Or we won’t have enough money to pay our bills. Being kicked out of our house is not a pleasant thought, so most of us manage to control our financial budget so that we can pay the mortgage! Controlling our food budget is not all that different: a hankering for a brownie is similar, in some ways, to that longing for that gorgeous handbag at Nordstrom‘s. If we’re smart, we’ll budget our money (or our points or calories) to get what we want. It may mean that we have to hold off on enjoyment for a bit: instant gratification and smart money (or food) management don’t often go together.

So, think about it . . . Does food really control, you? Or is it possible that you merely THINK it does? If you want some freedom to indulge in your “red light” foods, start small: first, enjoy a single serving portion of whatever it is, away from your house. Buy it at a restaurant, for example, or in a single-serving package. Next, experiment with bringing the food into your house -- again, in single serving portions. At some point, you may find that you can (gasp!) actually have a big bag of a now-FORMER “red light” food in your house . . . without any problems.

Most important: don’t hide from food! If you fear a certain food because you‘ve had poor control over it in the past, you are unlikely to improve that control if you continue to hide. Your chances of conquering your food fears are best if you meet them head-on. Just remember to start small, and go as slowly as you need to.

Finally: don’t deprive yourself. The best way to lose weight is slowly, in a way that doesn’t result in deprivation. If you simply can’t imagine living without pizza, then have some, for Pete's sake! Real pizza, too: not that low-calorie version that some diet cookbooks would have you eat. Just remember that you can’t eat it all the time, or in unlimited quantities. But have it you can, if you plan for it.

I discovered, over time, that once I was free to enjoy anything I wanted, I no longer wanted everything. My “red light” foods lost their power to tempt me in a serious way. I can’t guarantee that my approach will work for you; however, if you give it a try, it may help. Just remember to take it at YOUR own pace.

* * * * *

If you enjoyed this essay, please send it on!

Want to subscribe? Check the top of the page . . . on the right.

Comments

[Linda]

What an wonderfully intelligent, well-articulated and helpful post! You have managed to get directly to the essence of a problem that plagues most of us on a weight loss or maintenence program, and one that often feels way more difficult and complicated than it actually is. You are absolutely right on when you compare weight management to money management. As your title suggests, it all boils down to one 3 word question.......who's in charge?

Love your website!

[PastaQueen]

I've found that making it a little bit harder to eat my red light foods has made it easier to stop pigging out on them. I make a loaf of whole-wheat bread every weekend in my breadmaker and I'd usually eat the whole thing in a weekend even though I told myself this time I wouldn't. Then someone suggested I slice it up and stick it in the freezer. It worked! Knowing that I had to take a slice out of the freezer and microwave it to eat it prevented me from eating too much, unlike when I could just slice a piece off the loaf on the counter.

Another technique that helps is to move the food to the basement or the trunk of a car, somewhere that you have to actively move to go get it. That allows for a little more time for me to think "Do I really need this?" The extra effort I have to put into actually going to get it helps discourage me as well.

[Debbie]

PQ, yes, that can help! Dividing food into servings ahead of time is something I did early on, and I still do it sometimes -- for convenience. It's a sort of mind game, but it works!