Fear of Failure

Committing to a weight loss program can be a scary thing.

People say to themselves, “Am I going to fail? Worse, am I going to succeed, and THEN fail?”

Losing weight, vowing you’ll never gain it back, and then gaining it back, plus interest . . . that’s quite a blow to the ego.

Sometimes, the fear of failure is so scary, many folks decide it’s not worth it. They just figure they’ll stay fat.

If that’s the case for you, c’mon . . . let’s chat for a bit.

Chances are, if you’re reading these words, you have started countless diets. Maybe you’ve started a new “Monday diet” on more Mondays than you can even remember. You may have lost, by now, hundreds of pounds in your lifetime. You may have put even more back on again.

I totally understand. I’ve been to that country myself. I have more visa stamps than I care to think about, in fact. I once lost 60 lbs, back when I was 30 . . . vowed that I’d never be fat again. “Famous last words,” as my Mom used to say. I regained. Slowly, over several years. I then spent the next 10 years or so gaining, gaining, and gaining. I went over 200. That still wasn’t enough to turn me around. I ended up at about 220 lbs. I would start a diet, lose 3 lbs, stall out, and quit. I did that time after time. Eventually, I just plain ol‘ gave up. I figured I was just destined to be fat. And with good reason, I figured. Weight loss is difficult to sustain for most people; even I will admit that. How many folks do you know who have lost weight and regained? Dozens, right?

So, why should you succeed, where others have failed repeatedly? Why bother trying, in fact?

Well, because you could succeed this time. Really.

There’s a stock phrase that’s used in the investment world: “Past performance is no guarantee of future results.” Basically, this means that a really great investment may turn sour in the months or years ahead. But, I like to turn that saying around. I think this phrase really means that if you have failed in the past, that doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to fail again.

Here are some tips to get you to your goal, and help you stay there:

Approach weight loss as a change in lifestyle -- an alteration of your current eating habits. “Diets” do not work, because they are temporary, and you are either “on” or “off” them. (Yep, I’m afraid that means “Monday diets,” too.) Permanently changing how you eat, now . . . that works.

Don’t do anything to lose the weight that you’re not absolutely willing to do the rest of your life. This is in keeping with a change in lifestyle, as opposed to a temporary “diet.“ Any change in eating habits that you adopt should reflect your likes, dislikes, and the way you live your life. Deprivation is so yesterday. Lopsided, starvation diets are not live-able. Don’t go there.

Exercise 5 to 6 days a week. For the rest of your life. It’s important, trust me. And get some iron in your diet . . . as in weights. You know. Barbells and dumbbells. Weight machines. That’s important, too.

Do NOT expect to be perfect. DO be persistent. DO get it right most of the time.

If you have “problem” times -- if you do wonderfully 23 hours and 55 minutes of each day, and horribly the other 5 minutes, brainstorm about how you can change the circumstances that lead to those horrible 5 minutes. Then change what you‘re doing. I call it “course correction,” and it works just as well with a food plan, as it does for a road trip.

Do learn to eat appropriately (or at least not too badly) under varying circumstances. Vacations, client dinners, birthday bashes -- none of these have to derail all of your efforts if you learn how to handle them. You can only learn by doing, you know. Sure, you’ll mess up sometimes. We all do. But if you learn something from each mistake, you’ll get better at it. That’s another thing you’ll have to trust me on.

Expect to modify your approach as time goes on. You may change jobs. You may move across the country, or even out of the country. Your spouse may have a heart attack. Life happens, and sometimes it really sucks. But if you keep good eating habits a priority, no matter what, you can change your approach as your circumstances change.

Now: let’s address fear of failure.

One thing is for sure -- you will fail to lose weight if you never try. Last time I looked, the odds of success for “never starting” are zero. Heck, the Power Ball odds are better than that. (Well, OK, not much.)

However, if you do try, you have a very good chance of succeeding, especially if you pay attention to what works and what doesn’t, and modify your approach as you go along. Just follow my general guidelines. Make the details fit your life: I‘m not you, and you are not me.

Now, what’s the worst that can happen if you don’t succeed? Well, you will have learned an approach or two that doesn’t work. That ought to be useful for your next attempt. (But I’m betting you’ll get it right this time.)

Besides -- I don’t know a single solitary soul who has lost weight and kept it off on their very first try. Do you?

So . . . ego be damned. You're in excellent company. And if you get started right now, just how far along might you be, this time next year? That's something to think about.

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