Who ARE You, Really?
So, who are you?
Are you a thin person in a fat suit? Or are you a fat person in a thin suit?
Huh? Wazza? How's that, again?
What I mean is -- how do you see yourself? Are you a fat person who's temporarily thin? A thin person who's currently sporting a bit too much fat for comfort? Or . . .
Are you a skinny person who has lost the fat suit? Or, possibly, a fat person still wearing the fat suit, figuring that's what you're supposed to be wearing?
How you see yourself affects your ability to lose weight. It even affects how hard you think it is to lose weight in the first place.
The way we see the world -- and the way we see ourselves -- to a great extent determines how we function in life. If we think we're dumb, we won't strive for a promotion. We won't go back to school at night to get a degree. We're too dumb, right? What's the use, anyway? Why even try? Why even bother?
So, if we think of ourselves as "fat," then we will ALWAYS be fat . . . even when we are thin. That's a temporary condition, right? Because, after all, we are FAT. When we are thin, when we are losing weight, we are just struggling against our true natures. Aren't we?
Aren't we?
Personally, I don't think so. I think that, as in most of life, attitude is everything. How you think, how you feel, day after day, determines who you are, how you evolve, who you become.
I used to be a fat old lady. Swollen ankles, high cholesterol, wheezing up the stairs. Bad knees. Today I am a young, athletic woman. Yep, really. I believe that I am young -- I feel young. I feel about 25 most days. I am athletic. I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm a long-distance bicyclist, I have a resting heart rate of 45, and strong muscles, from lifting weights for more than four years.
OK, OK. I'm really 52, in calendar years. But that is not important. What is important is what I believe. Because if I BELIEVE I can become a young person again -- in all respects except for chronological age -- and if I act on that belief, if I live as if I were a young, healthy person, then I can become that person.
And I did become that person.
So, how'd I do it?
I can tell you how I did it . . . well, sorta. I can tell you what happened, but I can't necessarily tell you why it happened. Not completely, anyway. But I'll give it a shot.
What happened was that I had an "aha!" moment back in 1999. I was too fat and too out of shape to sweep off my front porch; it left me breathless. I determined right then and there that I was going to change my life, I was going to lose my couch potato status. I started exercising (biking and weight training) and in a couple of years, had improved my fitness to a significant extent.
Then I joined Weight Watchers in January 2002, as exercise alone wasn't enough to take the weight off. When I joined, I was ready to change my life completely. To never again eat as I had before, in the way that had gained me 85+ surplus pounds. And y'know, that's what I did. I never looked back. I knew that this time the change had to be permanent. (Sure, I had lost weight before . . . but that's another time, another blog entry.)
Fast forward to now. I've been at goal nearly a year. And somewhere along the way, at some point during my 3+ year (so far) weight loss journey, I changed the way I saw myself. Today, I'm a thin person who used to be fat, a long time ago. At least it seems like a long time ago.
What made the change happen?
Part of it was self-confidence. I had some before, I have more now. It's funny how success feeds self-confidence. Just staying on the program and watching myself succeed kept me going.
Another part of it was just sheer "this is it" determination. I had to do it. It was (in my mind) my last chance to avoid my familial fate. I didn't then, and still do not EVER, want to have a heart attack. Watching my health improve was, and still is, a huge boost.
So, there you have it. I made up my mind to change, I changed, and here I am today, still changed. I find weight maintenance to be pretty easy . . . as long as my attitude is right, and as long as I don't get cocky and start thinking that I'm suddenly cured of my obesiotic tendencies. (No, that's not a real word. I like it, though, so it stays.)
Now, I don't for a moment pretend to be an expert on the mind-body connection. But I can tell you, from my readings over the years and from personal experience, that our thoughts shape our day-to-day lives. And that we can change those thoughts. Cognitive therapy, for example, provides a means by which we can change the way we think and feel about things. Sure, it takes practice, and it won't happen overnight. But it has been shown that changing our thoughts can actually change the balance of chemicals in our brains.
That's awesome. Talk about the ultimate in self-help. I guess I did a cognitive therapy number on myself. Or something like it.
So, how does all this tie into the fat-suit issue? Well, it's something of a hackneyed old saw, but it's true -- whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. If you think you're really a fat person, you're really thinking that you "can't." Can't lose weight, can't keep it off. Not permanently, anyway.
So, BELIEVE. Believe in yourself. Practice it. Act as if you believe in yourself, even if you don't at the moment. Do it anyway. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. As many minutes as you can scrape together. Go ahead, BE that thin person, from the inside out. Even if you're currently wearing the fat suit. Do it, and you'll be needing a tailor.
Hey there stranger. Okay, "I" am the one who is the stranger. But- great blog!! Did I say GREAT? Yes.
What about the fat person who sees themself as skinny? Me? I believe that I have once been the temporarily thin fat person. But also, I was once the fat person who turned athlete and felt & lived athlete. Currently, it's that I am a fat person who sees myself as very fat....but very much going in the right direction. There's nothing like a hill to humble you on the bike.
You are right on with changing the way you think to be the person you want to be!! The way you think is the way you treat people and the way you treat them is what they become. The same goes for self reflection.
I SWEAR I was thinking about you the other day when I was running (okay, jogging with walks in between...but in my MIND I was running and that's what counts, right?). Anyways- I was recalling your beginning pictures way back when and the last picture I saw of you on the WWFitness Challenge group site. You have made an amazing transformation & one that I hope to make in time (again). But this time, I will have an awesome son to role model for & introduce to all the fun things that I will be doing! He's 18 months old now, so it won't be long!
Great blog! Hope my comment wasn't too long.
Posted by: Suzi | March 27, 2005 at 07:50 AM